Sometimes I think women in New Brunswick could be bleeding out on the kitchen floor and still say, “Oh it’s fine, this just runs in my family.”
We’re out here normalizing things our bodies have been screaming about for years because somewhere along the line we learned to white knuckle through everything. Kids waking us up at 3am, winter storms, husbands working away, hormones doing acrobatics… sure. But your bowel movements needing an enema every three days? Babe. No. You do not have to just live with that.
Yesterday in clinic, I watched two different women shrug off symptoms that would stop most people in their tracks. And not in a “brave and gritty” way, more like in a “no one ever told me I deserve better” way.
One woman came in for low back pain that starts in her sacroiliac joint and ends in her knee. She gets injections sometimes (which help the knee too) so she figured that’s just her normal. But when the practitioner asked about bowel movements (because in TCM we’re always zooming out to catch the whole pattern), she laughed and said, “Oh that doesn’t work at all.” As in… she can only have a bowel movement with an enema every three days.
Mama, that’s not “just how I am.” That’s your system waving a giant red flag. TCM has entire treatment strategies for exactly this — and yes, it absolutely connects to your low back pain. Your Large Intestine, your Kidney system, your Qi movement… it all threads together. Nothing in your body lives in isolation.
And then another woman came in with sharp, right-sided neck and shoulder pain. Thought she slept funny. Wanted acupressure massage and gua sha. Fine, totally reasonable. Except the practitioner notes these very prominent varicose veins behind her knee (on the exact same side as the neck pain) and asks about them. And the woman just shrugs, “Oh that’s nothing. My mother had that too.”
We treat our bodies like hand me down furniture. If our mother had it, well, guess we do too. Genetic fate, right?
Except no. Not in TCM.
Yes, you might have a constitutional tendency (what we call your primordial Qi). Maybe your mom passed you her bone structure, her laugh, and her Spleen Qi deficiency. But predisposition is not destiny. We can strengthen what’s weak. Move what’s stuck. Support what’s collapsing. Varicose veins are not a life sentence, they’re a signpost.
This is the quiet tragedy of women’s health: we’ve normalized suffering to the point we don’t even call it suffering anymore. Just “my normal.” Just “how it’s always been.” Just “my genetics.”
But here’s the truth, spoken with love and a tiny bit of sass, because you know I care:
You do not have to accept every problem your body hands you.
Balance is possible at any age.
Your symptoms make sense.
And none of this is “just because you’re a woman.”
Your body is not a stubborn old tractor that needs to be coaxed along with prayers and duct tape. She is responsive. She is adaptable. She is trying so hard. And with the right support (acupuncture, herbs, nourishment, movement, breath, actual rest) she can change.
So if you’re out here saying things like:
“That’s just how my period is.”
“I’ve always been constipated.”
“Everyone in my family has veins like this.”
“My digestion is just trash.”
“I’m just a bad sleeper.”
“I’ve had pain there for twenty years.”
“That’s just me.”
I’m going to look at you, clink my drink against yours, and say gently but firmly:
Maybe it’s not.
Maybe your body is telling a story you’ve never been taught to listen to.
And maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to live like this forever.
Come let someone see the bigger picture with you. There’s always a root. And you deserve to feel at home in your body.
A Gentle Note: I’m a student of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and this space reflects my learning as it unfolds. TCM is deep, layered, and complex, and I’m still finding my footing within it. I will refine my understanding over time. I will make mistakes. That’s part of doing this honestly. What I share here is my current perspective, shaped by my teachers, clinical training, lived experience, and my own biases. It’s not absolute, it’s evolving. I welcome thoughtful conversation, shared insight, and respectful correction along the way. I humbly welcome your insight. Let’s learn together. You can always find me over on Instagram to keep the conversation going.