This past week I went home to New Brunswick, and it felt like a full body exhale I did not realize I had been holding for months.
I helped friends with homestead chores, the kind that ground your body without even trying.
I slept better than I have in ages, in my own bed with no street lights shining in at night.
I drank fresh, clean, hand pumped water that feels like real nourishment.
I soaked up the deep, penetrating heat of my woodstove.
I had tea with people who know me in the most familiar way.
I walked the same trails my nervous system knows by heart.
I listened to coyotes instead of sirens.
It reminded me exactly who I am when my life lines up with the land I love.
Now I am back in Halifax for a full and demanding term.
This term I am taking:
ACU-2005 Allied Ancient Therapies
ACU-2006 Acupuncture Techniques (A)
BIO-5003 Pathology
EMA-4001 Eastern Massage 1: Dr. Li-Chen Acupressure and Relaxation Massage
HRB-8002 Introduction to TCM Herbology and Formula
TCM-1004 Diagnostics of Traditional Chinese Medicine (B)
TCM-1005 Basic Chinese History and Language
Plus trying to be in clinic up to twelve hours a week, plus studying, plus homework, plus life.
And I can feel it catching up to me.
Here is the honest truth about my body right now
My diet has been off.
Not “bad,” just not aligned with my constitution.
I have been trying to embrace a more seasonal, balanced way of eating before my system is actually ready for it.
More variety, more plant foods, more “ideal” choices.
But my body is not the body I had after months of carnivore.
It is still sensitive.
Still recovering.
Still needing warmth, simplicity, and nourishment that actually matches my real needs.
Too much cold food, too much fiber, too much variety, too many quick meals, and my system reacts immediately.
My signs were subtle at first, but now they are loud
It started small.
A little heaviness in the mornings.
A little emotional wobble.
Cravings for grounding foods.
But now my body is not whispering.
It is raising its voice.
My muscles ache even when I have not exerted myself in days.
I feel that deep, empty tank stiffness that shows up when my Spleen and Liver are overwhelmed.
My mood is unsteady in a way that does not match my actual life.
And the anxiety is loud.
Not situational anxiety.
Not “something is wrong” anxiety.
The kind that sits in the chest and flutters for no reason except that your internal system is out of balance.
This is what happens when I drift from the diet and rhythm my constitution actually thrives on.
My Spleen is tired.
My Liver is pacing.
My Heart Shen is trying her best but she is exhausted from holding everything together.
Going home reminded me what balance actually feels like
Real darkness at night.
Real quiet.
Real water.
Real warmth.
Real connection.
Real land.
Real breath.
New Brunswick regulates me in a way nothing else does.
My digestion works better.
My mood levels out.
My muscles soften.
My breath deepens.
My mind stops scanning.
My whole system settles.
This term is a lot, but it is good
Hard does not mean wrong.
Busy does not mean misaligned.
Overwhelmed does not mean I cannot do it.
It simply means I need to eat in a way that matches my constitution.
I need warm meals.
Simple foods.
More protein.
Fewer cold things.
More routine.
More grounding.
Earlier nights.
Pauses in the day.
Time with people who fill my cup.
And as often as I can manage, weekends where the woods put me back together.
Being a TCM student is not just learning the medicine.
It is learning how to live it inside your own imperfect, brilliant, honest body.
And that is exactly where I am right now.
A Gentle Note: I’m a student of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and this space reflects my learning as it unfolds. TCM is deep, layered, and complex, and I’m still finding my footing within it. I will refine my understanding over time. I will make mistakes. That’s part of doing this honestly. What I share here is my current perspective, shaped by my teachers, clinical training, lived experience, and my own biases. It’s not absolute, it’s evolving. I welcome thoughtful conversation, shared insight, and respectful correction along the way. I humbly welcome your insight. Let’s learn together. You can always find me over on Instagram to keep the conversation going.