Recently, in Acupuncture Gynecology and Pediatrics class at Canadian College of Acupuncture & Traditional Chinese Medicine we were talking about amenorrhea, and at some point, specifically Liver Qi stagnation as a cause.
My teacher, the incredible Dr. Bella Tan of Two Tan Wellness in Bedford, NS, explained that a lot of Liver Qi stagnation in women is rooted in unmet expectations. The slow build of disappointment. The daily friction of things not being how you think they should be.
Then she went on to use the example of becoming incredibly frustrated with a husband leaving his laundry on the floor next to the empty laundry basket.
Instead of thinking how can this man not see the laundry basket, she shifts her thinking. She puts the basket somewhere more convenient. Or she reframes it and laughs, saying,
“Oh, my husband looks so cute when he throws his laundry on the floor beside the basket.”
The room laughed.
And my first thought was:
Has Dr. Tan been reading my blog?
Or is this problem so universal it shows up in acupuncture lectures and women’s nervous systems everywhere?
Maybe both.
But then (and maybe this is my Liver Qi stagnation talking) a deeper question landed.
In TCM, this makes perfect sense.
The Liver governs the free flow of Qi. It does not like constraint, friction, or repeated emotional suppression. When disappointment is swallowed instead of expressed, Qi slows. When Qi slows, blood doesn’t move. When blood doesn’t move, the menstrual cycle can stall.
From a TCM lens, reframing is a legitimate treatment.
It reduces internal resistance.
It restores movement.
It protects the Liver.
But from a social lens?
It looks an awful lot like women being taught (yet again) to adapt internally rather than ask externally for change.
So which is it?
Is this the TCM version of forgiving others for your own wellbeing, not because they deserve it, but because your body can’t afford the stagnation?
Or is it just a beautifully worded explanation for why women end up doing a staggering amount of emotional and logistical labour so everyone else can stay comfortable?
TCM doesn’t weigh in on fairness.
It observes consequence.
And the consequence is this: women’s bodies pay quickly for unresolved disappointment.
Not because women are weak but because we are exquisitely responsive. Our cycles, our digestion, our sleep, our hormones reflect what we are repeatedly asked to hold.
So maybe the point isn’t that reframing is right.
Maybe the point is that TCM shows us the cost of social conditioning in the body.
The Liver doesn’t stagnate because a man misses a basket once.
It stagnates because of years of adapting, softening, managing, and making peace instead of making noise.
And yes, sometimes reframing is medicine.
Sometimes it’s survival.
But TCM also teaches that stagnation resolves through movement, not just internal, but external.
Expression.
Boundary.
Change.
So maybe the real clinical insight isn’t “just laugh it off.”
Maybe it’s noticing how fast women’s bodies react when they’re the ones expected to carry what should be shared.
That’s not just acupuncture theory.
That’s social conditioning written in Qi.
A Gentle Note: I’m a student of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and this space reflects my learning as it unfolds. TCM is deep, layered, and complex, and I’m still finding my footing within it. I will refine my understanding over time. I will make mistakes. That’s part of doing this honestly. What I share here is my current perspective, shaped by my teachers, clinical training, lived experience, and my own biases. It’s not absolute, it’s evolving. I welcome thoughtful conversation, shared insight, and respectful correction along the way. I humbly welcome your insight. Let’s learn together. You can always find me over on Instagram to keep the conversation going.